Now Casting...

... less than two weeks

2007-07-05T09:18:26Z

Mike, James, Dave...
Room is booked, sadly though they didn't have any rooms with two beds.
So... it's got a king-sized bed... And... yeah.
They'll keep me posted if one comes along with 2 beds, but it's what we're facing right now.
But yes... Connecticut plans are in motion.
YAY!

Musics...

2007-06-28T08:53:16Z

Yes kids... I'm plugging music right now.
But not just ANY music. Oh noes... this is SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME MUSIC.

My buddy Ted's wife, Sarah, has a CD out.
She's pretty awesome... and that's an understatement.
Seriously, she's uber-talented and she's just released a CD called "Fiddle Soup".

Now, I've heard this girl play in person, and let me just say... ho crap... rockin'.
And that's just barely touching the tip of the iceberg.
It's all awesome fiddle stuff... and if I know some of you out there... you'll DEVOUR it!
[See what I did there? The whole "soup" and "devour" thing? Yeah... I'm a genius.]

So, what you wanna do is go to http://www.myspace.com/sarahwilfong and BUY HER CD.

That's right kids. I'm not askin' for much here.
Just to treat your ears to some sweet tunes.
Plus, if you order before July 2nd.... she'll pay for shipping.

So do it... okay?
'Cause I said so!

Also, Paypal is YES!

I am a huge fucking asshole.

2007-06-18T08:33:32Z

I watched something die, when I could have done something.
I got angry about something that happened and reacted in a way that was unprofessional.
I delegated importance to things that should have come last.
And now I'm realizing it.

So, deny it if you will... I am a huge fucking asshole.

I need to break things off soon... before they get too serious.
She says we'll still be friends but really... I'm doubtful it will last.

I've burned bridges, or at least I think I have.
I'm just... I'm going to bed and I'm going to avoid being online for a while, as I just... I just don't feel like it and I'm a total cock for saying shit before gathering the facts.

And yeah, disagree or not... but I do deserve to be alone if I can't fucking make things work for me and someone who actually loved me for who I am, despite the flaws.

I'm sorry.

X posted... "An Open Letter to A Blender"

2007-06-16T12:56:35Z

So really... now I've switched over.
Those who care, have the know how to get there.
Those who don't... whatever.

The funny thing is that I'm really not getting why what I said was cruel.
Seriously. For those who are playing at home... SHE dumped ME.
That's right. SHE ended the relationship.
SHE wanted to be with ME.
SHE stopped it because SHE was unhappy.
What did she want? Did she want me to fight for it or something? Try to fill a void I couldn't, due to my job and just overall need of time to myself?
I'm sorry... maybe I'm just not understanding things clearly enough.

And now she's got a small gaggle of her friends hating on me because of it.
Or at least, because of the side of the story they've been told and that they know.

Funny thing is, I thought of wishing I could go back in time to tell myself in High School that life doesn't get worse, it gets better... but you know what? No matter how you slice the pie, everything boils down to one thing.
High School never ends... it just takes on different forms.
Work.
Communities.
Whatever.
Everything stays the same.

There are jocks, nerds, freaks, bimbos, stoners, goths, punks, everything... they're just all carefully disguised in other little cliques and such that take a bit of looking around to see through.

Worst thing is, I know I should probably feel somewhat bad for the post I made, because I made Ruth upset about it... but WHY it made her upset is what bothers me.
Seriously, if you don't like it... why the hell did you read it?
And since I've been removed from her friends list, it's not like she's ever going to see this anyway.
So really... I'm sorry Ruth.
I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you wanted me to be.
I just was me... and I suppose that wasn't good enough.

Yes, I'm unmotivated.
Yes, I'm distracted easily.
I can admit this.
I can also admit that things scare me, but I hide them behind humor.
I can admit that I had hope for things between us, but didn't fight for it because I thought you'd be happier.

So here's the real clincher...

I can admit I was wrong.

I was wrong for not giving enough attention to you.
I was wrong for not calling or e-mailing as much as I could have.
I was wrong for doing other things while talking on the phone to you.

But you know what?
You dumped me.
You broke my heart while on air.
After the shittiest day I've had in a while... you drop THAT on me.
AND not to mention it was 5 days before my birthday too.
That made me feel super great. Oh yeah... and the fact that Brad bought me the present you got, which was totally out of my control... yeah... that made me feel great too.
In fact, it's all my fault.
I was the one who told you I was a bad boyfriend and you said I wasn't.
Right? Remember those times? Yeah... I'm sure you do.
And I apologized, and you said there was no need to.
And now I bet you're expecting some kind of apology for what I had posted in MY journal... and the fact that people we both know... have been mad at ME for something YOU decided to end.
Yeah... I'm a total jerkwad.

Yeah. That's right. Tell them I'm a bad boyfriend and such, 'cause I am.
Tell everyone what a horrible, unfeeling, insensitive, heartless monster I am.
Expose me for everything that I am... because you know what?
You fell for that monster.

And even a monster can be loved. And love back.

Did I say I was happy with the new person in my life?
No.
I'm not happy. I'm miserable for multiple reasons.
Reasons you probably know, and some you don't know.
But whatever.

I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors, and that everything you ever want is given to you. Because you deserve it. If not from me, than from someone who can provide it.

That's about it.

I'll occasionally post here every now and then... if I feel like it. But I'll be over at my other journal from now on.

I am finally seeing
That I was the one worth leaving

----

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2007-06-14T05:14:42Z

I was wondering when the day would come when I had to switch journals.
Now if I could only remember the password to the other one...

...

2007-06-07T07:19:15Z

Things... things are things right now.
Complicated and yet... exciting.
I don't know how else to phrase it.

Birthday weekend...

2007-06-04T17:53:14Z

Awesomeness.
Just what I needed, actually.
New hotel was just... AWESOME.
Food, fun, and friends... also, discussions of a Toronto meet happened. YAY!
Now back to the daily grind... no pun intended...

I really need to move to T.O.

Also... "Nothing Compares 2 U" randomly popped into my head as I was leaving my hotel... there's something in there. I think.

Quick post...

2007-06-02T11:27:04Z

Birthday wasn't so bad.
Work kind of sucked.
I'm off for two days to hang with friends. YAY!

Back on Monday.

THIS WEEKEND

2007-06-01T19:16:55Z

Alright...
bralesslut, cythraul and wizardstan...
Firstly, I'm arriving around noon... I'll be sleeping until about 3:30 and stuff.
My hotel is the Novotel, which apparently is right across from my work's Head Office. LoL
Address GET:
Novotel Toronto North York
3 Park Home Ave
North York, ON M2N6L3
Canada

It's apparently right on the subway line, so there shouldn't be a problem getting there and back.
I have the tickets, the show's at 7, Diesel Playhouse.
I will have my cell phone on me [705 774 8198], so if you need to call or text, do so.
Also, for dinner I don't know what you guys wanna do... considering some are meeting for the first time... so Jenn suggested Mc D's or something quick.
After the show, you guys are welcome to come back to my hotel and we can play some "Let's Kill!" or we could go to a bar/pub/movie/whatever.

Sunday, Jenn and Dave, we need to figure out what's going on, as we need to discuss a meet in Toronto. It's been well over a year so it's about damned time for "Little Canadia 2: Electric Boogaloo, Eh?".
I figure we can either do the whole thing at my hotel room... or we can meet somewhere and go have lunch and stuff. I know this great little place on Queen that's cheap and good. Really good.
As for the evening's plans... movies or something... I dunno. We'll figure that out.
I'm sure there's something decent out... or something funny at least. I know "Mr Brooks", "Knocked Up", "28 Weeks Later", "Hot Fuzz" and "Shrek the Third" is playing. Also, there's a Hispanic Film Fest at Bloor Cinema... if you're into that kind of thing.

Jenn [sheb #24033], if you want to do the meet discussion at your place, k-mail Dave [wizard stan #616364] with directions to your house. I'll still be bringing "Let's Kill!" with me, and possibly some form of zombie movie or something.

Anyway... post all responses here... I'll check 'em when I get home from work.

Today's not looking so badly.
<3
J.

Le Up-date.

2007-05-30T19:52:58Z

This past week has been... passable.
Bad shit has happened. Good shit has happened.
My birthday's in two days and I can't wait for the weekend to come.
I'm going to get to hang with Steve, Jenn, Dave, and Dawn.
Considering that Steve knows Dave, and Jenn knows Dawn... but nobody knows anyone else... this should be fun.
I fucked up a bit on my hotel... but meh, it's all good.

Found a book I plan to get when I get paid again... Bucky Sinister's "All Blacked Out and Nowhere to Go"... which I heard a sampling of on Jordan, Jesse, GO!... and I'll be more than glad to reccomend it to anyone.
And it now hits me that a friend has my Shane Koyczan and Dylan Thomas books...

I bought a notebook to write/thumbnail a graphic novel in... hopefully I can get this idea I have down.
Yeah, for those who've been following my "art" and stuff... I'm debating on ressurecting "Rory and Jezebelle" [tentative title]. Either that, or expanding on "Jacob" somewhat, but in graphic novel form in lieu of novel form.

I watched "Pan's Labyrinth"... it was really good.
I also watched the original "Hitcher"... pretty neat. I forgot how cool Rutger Hauer is.
I still need to see/get the re-make of "Black Christmas" though... I saw half of it and it was just... WOW.
Adding a backstory to Billy was just... awesome.

Also... for those who don't know yet. Ruth and I are no longer a couple.
It's slowly sinking in and stuff... acceptance of circumstance and other such things.
It's likely for the best anyway. Plus, it's my fault.
I'm sure she remembers when I said "If anyone's going to end this relationship, it'll be you... and it'll be my fault."
Needless to say, I have no plans for anything romantic for a long time.
I think I need to get myself centered and situated in a place where I'm happy with myself and such.

Anyway... I'm going to have a nap and stuff, considering I have to go back to work at 8pm. YAY!

Seriously, Saturday can't come fast enough. [That's what she said.]

justin_face @ 2007-05-29T07:18:00

2007-05-29T11:19:00Z

Got no future, great big past
Little bitty guy on the rim of my glass.
Gotta meet the plane, so I can get my monkey
Teach him to be cool but a little bit funky.
Got no credit, and I got no fear,
and I got about a buck so I can buy a beer.
Gotta see a doctor 'bout the words I've said.
and I gotta get a bike and I gotta paint it red.

Oh no, we gotta go, we’re not gonna live forever
Why, why, we gotta die? You know that we'll be together
Hey, hey we gotta say, I could never be a savior
You don’t have to be there ‘cause I’m never, never, never comin’ home

Three feet deep in a slow motion wreck
I was walkin’ the walk and I was talkin’ to the best
I was wrinkled and shriveled and steppin’ out of line
playin' the end against the middle and losing every time
I was veinous and heinous and crippled and sad
Thought I was invincible, the baddest of the bad
Then I woke up one morning, and I stepped out of bed
Had to get a bike, had to paint it red

Oh no, we gotta go, we’re not gonna live forever
Why, why, we gotta die? You know that we'll be together
Hey, hey we gotta say, I could never be a savior
I know that you’ll miss me but I’m never, never, never comin’ home

Crazy (I’m crazy, I wanna tell you that I’m crazy)
Janice Ian Curtis Mayfield, Leslie Gore Vidal Sassoon
How you think I, How you think I, How you think I'll take it
Said, how you think I'll take it when I hear it on the moon
Rebel Joe, wigin' Jane. where will he go and where’s the brain
Es de noche, enchillada, pinche cabrón dí por nada

Oh no, we gotta go, we’re not gonna live forever
Why, why, we gotta die? You know that we'll be together
Hey, hey we gotta say, I could never be a savior
You don’t have to be there ‘cause I’m never, never, never comin’ home

Starin’ in disbelief out at the gloom, I was forced with remorse to learn the bassoon
I got real good in about six years, started playing out for a couple of beers
then one day I was playin’ at the gig and in walked the monkey with a couple of funky friends
He came right over and said “this is what you’ll do, you’re gonna get a bike, you’re gonna paint it blue.”

Oh no, we gotta go, we’re not gonna live forever
Why, why, we gotta die? You know that we'll be together
Hey, hey we gotta say, I could never be a savior
I know that you’ll miss me but I’m never, never, never comin’ home

...

2007-05-27T03:21:36Z

I was gonna do some kind of top 5 thing for every day before my birthday... but right now, I just don't feel up to it.

Live an learn, etc.

*sigh*

Edit: I know there's other things I should be feeling and stuff right now... but today's just been... sheer Hell... yeah.

...

2007-05-26T12:40:19Z

You know... I'm SOOOOOO close to just... GAH... *mumbles and heads off to work after getting only 2 hours sleep*

...

2007-05-23T22:22:13Z

Also, internet peoples: I'm sorry I haven't been around and stuff... I've been uber busy and stuff... but fret not.
I'm doing the stuff I've promised to do at a pace I can handle along with work and such.

I love you, Ruth.

...

2007-05-23T08:10:00Z

I know... I know.
I'm seriously self guilt-tripping again.
I feel uber bad 'cause I haven't spoken to Ruth in about a week... but we're both uber busy, and that's somewhat understandable, I guess.
Regardless... time will be made.
Justin CAN be a good boyfriend... I swears!

I have a conference call at 10am.
First one ever.
Kind of nervous.
Mrrf.

I'm debating on doing something quick and cute and such... yes... *tents fingers*

Doug TenNapel's latest Graphic Novel is out... This makes me happy.
Also... I have the need for Bone, after watching some Youtube of Jeff Smith sketching.
Also... Rob Schrab is on DeviantART now, and Scud #21 is in the works. JOY.

...

2007-05-21T06:54:27Z

Hanging out with Rob was a blast, as usual.
I left my guide there though, and probably lost a stylus... but oh well.
We watched "Fast Food Nation", which was pretty neat.

Weekend from heck is almost over.
It's been busy and crazy and crazybusy, but fun, I guess... in an "I wanna nail my face to a piece of plywood" kind of way.

Got my tickets for Evil Dead in the mail.
Can't wait to hang with Steve, Dave, Jenn, and Dawn again.
Also, I'm now in posession of the Let's Kill! expansion "A Pretty Corpse"... yay.
Getting that weekend off was Hell, but it's now in the works, so YAY!
Also, Jenn and Dave, we need to meet and discuss... a meet... on Sunday or something.

Ran into someone I haven't seen in ages today.
Pretty odd... or awkward... Oddward? Awkwod?

I need to check if there are more episodes of "Dexter" out right now.
I've been listening to SModCast and enjoying it a lot.
I'm reading "Perfume: Story of a Murderer" still.

My birthday isn't looking to be such a suckfest as it was last year. Huzzah!
Also, I have my Gamecube back, and I bought "From Russia With Love" for it for merely 10 bucks.
Also, new running shoes for 13 bucks rock, considering I only have work shoes and skate shoes.
The shoes were bought as a sort of incentive to start running.
Yes, that's right. Justin. Running.

I want to get into some form of decent shape... I dunno. It'll be weird or tough or both.
But whatever.
If that doesn't work, I still have a bowflex within 3 feet or so of me that's not being used.

Furthermore... I got a wicked Munchkin bookmark with my order from Warehouse 23, which can be used in any Munchkin game. YAY!
Also, I need to learn how to play "All Flesh Must Be Eaten"... for serious.

I really miss Ruth a lot.
I can't wait to see her in July.
I'm shooting for the 22nd to the 28th. So, I hope my boss says "Yes!"

I was told today that I'm a good manager.
I don't hear that... from anyone.
I just... you know... if you know me, you know I suck at taking a compliment.
I just merely juggled the schedule so someone could have a day off.
Sure, it means I have to stay an extra 3 or so hours. No biggie.
I suck at taking praise and stuff 'cause really... I'm just doing my job.
I'm doing what anyone else would or should do.
I dunno... I'm weird I guess.

I need to get some sleep, as I'm being roused at 7am to go out running or something. Eep.

Hope everyone had a great May Two-Four weekend and stuff...
And for you non-celebrating Americans... Queen Vickie could kick your ass and seduce you in one fell swoop.
Just sayin'.

*heads to http://www.munktiki.com to ogle some shinies*

J.

...

2007-05-16T06:27:24Z

Yesterday, a customer came up to the counter.
He was wearing a Dragon shirt.
I secretly hoped a man in a Wolf shirt would show up and they would battle to the death.

I'm heading out tomorrow to spend my "weekend" at Rob's place.
Perhaps there will be movies.
Perhaps there will be gaming.
Perhaps there will be food.
Perhaps he will chain me down and force me to draw.
Who knows?
ONLY THE SHADOW KNOWS.

Also... very tired Justin = cRaZy! WOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

REPOST

2007-05-13T22:23:15Z

'Cause it was just so good last year:

Much love to all the moms out there... keep on tellin' us what to do, how to do it, and how to live our lives...

...

2007-05-11T06:18:13Z

WANT

...

2007-05-09T19:20:36Z

Minor Update:

Won $112 bucks on 2 scratch tickets, after taking money out from my MasterCard... irony.
Nephew's birthday is today... he's going to school next year... oy.
Latest issue of Nintendo Power made me squee. Why? Worms: Open Warfare 2, Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword, Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, Impossible Mission, and Rune Factory: A Harvest Moon Fantasy... ALL FOR DS... though I'm not too keen on the last one, it may be worth a shot.
Worked until 3 today after being there last night until around 1...
Working tomorrow at 7am... day off on Friday.
Need to buy tickets for Birthday Thing... also, need to book hotel.
Busy busy busy... I hope my girl's havin' a good day and that she knows I miss her a lot a lot.

Off to shower and then Dinner.
<3
J

....

2007-05-07T00:59:22Z

So, mom tells me that Reuger [our oldest of the two chocolate labs] is dead.
Dad shot him and buried him in the backyard today.
It's kind of a relief, as he was very sick and he had a good run. He was, eleven I think.
But yeah.. dunno how to feel about it... yeah.

Work was alright.
Got my fifth badge in Pokemon Diamond... kickin' ass with nearly 100 pokemon discovered...
I'm hungry and headachey...

Plans for my Birthday are coming slowly into fruition.
Dave, Steve, Jenn, Other Steve, and myself plot to see "Evil Dead The Musical"...
I just found out that it's the cast I saw the last time... I owe them art... from a LONG time ago.
*sigh*
Should I even do it? I dunno.

I need to work on something for Bob now... after I eat.

<3
J.

...

2007-05-05T11:24:59Z

This week's been... "fun".
After already working two doubles, I got a call last night to come in and work again...
I have to be in at 8am.
I told them no.
I especially told them no, because the other Assistant Manager was there, and she got the midnight girl to call me and ask, instead of her asking me.
Sheer fucking cowardice.
They offered the Assistant Manager position to Mike, he turned it down and will be gone in 2 weeks.
This summer's gonna be nuts and fun.
Oy.
Also, Spidey 3 wasn't great... wasn't BAD by any means... it could have been better.
But it did have Bruce, and that made me happy.
I'm thirsty, and I have to go to work.
But I'll be around later to listen to Howie and Ruth's shows.
'Cause they're gonna rock.

Lates.

...

2007-05-02T14:27:05Z

I just worked two doubles, two days in a row.
I'm not answering my phone... I'm just... gonna draw and play pokemon for my two days off.
I'm so fucking tired.
I love you, Ruth. <3

<3 Sloths...

2007-04-30T09:16:51Z

<3 Sloths

fanfare

2007-04-28T15:31:00Z

Pokemon Diamond Friend Code: 0301 6311 5737

There... let me show you my pokemans...